Monthly TOEFL Essay #1: Table Manner
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Recently, a funny Korean commercial has been a hot issue
on YouTube. The commercial starts by showing a Korean family waiting for their
grandfather to put his spoon down on the table. As soon as he does, they dance
around and take out a snack. Foreigners were interested in this commercial
because of an interesting Korean tradition. Thus, this Korean custom to stay at
the table until all adults finish their meal is what foreigners would like to
adapt because it is beneficial for both the child and adult.
First of all, children can learn life lessons and
respect for adults from this table manner. It is natural in Korea for the whole
family to eat on one table. Compared to other countries’ simple food, it takes
longer to eat rice with side dishes and soup. While eating the meal, family
members start talking about their day. In this conversation, children can learn
important life lessons such as adult’s story and well-wishing remarks from
elders. These dialogues can be presented only at the table because it is hard
for a whole family to be together. Plus, everybody has a different speed when
eating their meal. Controlling the eating speed shows how much you care for the
others. From this, children can learn to respect elders and accept others’
difference.
Moreover, this custom can be beneficial for adults.
Adults can be comforted because other family members are caring for him or her.
Starting a meal with the whole family on one table, talking with them, and
actually ending the meal fully cooperating with every family member will make
adults feel warmth. The improvement in technology has brought many drawbacks
for elders. Elders are easily isolated from the new generation and technology. Conversation
between family members has decreased because everyone is busy. Sparing the meal
time to spend with family members provide an opportunity for all the family member
to talk with each other. Adults can catch up the new trend from teenagers. Also,
they can feel that they are respected because younger people are controlling
their speed for eating.
All in all, the custom for all family members to wait
until the eldest person finishes his food is an admirable custom. Children can
learn lessons from adults and learn to respect them. Plus, adults who are
alienated because of fast technology improvement can be comforted from this
table manner. A well-educated table manner can impact our future.
작성자가 댓글을 삭제했습니다.
답글삭제The custom you pointed out is nice; I didn't think about that topic when I was choosing mine^^. Also I liked how you used a Youtube Video as a hook for your essay (you should embed the video in your post). I also like how you divided the advantages of Korean table manners by "adults" and "children"ㅡ
답글삭제it made reading easier!
I do have some suggestions for this essay...
1) "Korean custom to stay at the table until all adults finish their meal" is your thesis, but your body paragraph seems to focus on the benefits of the "whole family eating together." Although they are kind of related, I think that the thesis statement should be revised for consistency.
2) I am confused whether the third paragraph is about elders, or adults in general as well. Adults->Elders->Adults structure was kind of distracting.
3) This is minor, but I thought that using the phrase "Other countries’ simple food" is a hasty generalization. I don't think Chinese food is "단순하다". What were you trying to mean by simple?
4) Finally, there are some grammatical errors in this essay... I think you should proofread it again!
I really enjoyed reading your essay!
I agree with Peter's points. Nice to see such helpful/thorough notes.
답글삭제In terms of content, you do a nice job of showing "why" it becomes more and more difficult for a family to enjoy a real meal at a real table with real conversation. But this is a problem for all cultures and Korea is not so unique in this tradition. I think it depends more on the family (and less so on the nation) as to what the rules are. When I was a kid, my family had a "no tv" rule, and no one could leave the table until mom said it was okay. Most Christian families require prayer before eating. So, this is a good essay, but this is not really a tradition other cultures can adopt if they already have it.
Nice post and beautiful blog.